I Can See Cloud-ly Now

If people were to compare me to a Winnie the Pooh character, I think many might say I’m a Tigger.

Secret: I can be a really good Eeyore.

Eeyore, the clouds always seem to follow him, to find their comfortable place over his head.  And Eeyore himself is at home under their shadow.  Eeyore and The Cloud.  They’re basically friends.

So often when I write, a weather metaphor emerges.  I’ve written about fog, smoke, and rain.  Autumn leaves and spring puddles have led me to the pen and page.

Today, it’s Eeyore’s cloud.  But so much more than the cloud, it’s the question of how to be ok with the process of something heavy hovering overhead without letting it soak up all the light of the sun.

I don’t know how to do that well.  I think that’s where my Tigger tendencies spring into action and bounce me away from Eeyore’s cloud.  Unfortunately, distance does not dispel clouds.  It simply removes me from the reality of them.  But soon enough, those pesky clouds finds their place again, back over my head.

Last week I went for dinner with some fine friends.  We dined on choice cuisine in the Tolkien-esque setting of an underground restaurant filled with wooden barrels and doors.  The atmosphere was worthy of that over-used emoji that represents perfection and the food was off-the-charts.  But days later, what I’m still gnawing on is something that was said.

The discussion turned to how easy it is to take bargaining chips to the table when we’re in relationship with the Father.  I’ll give this up, but I expect that in return.  I’m willing, Lord, but you owe me one.  My sacrifice deserves to be rewarded.   Wrestlings none of us like to uncover; they’re far too revealing of the selfish pride within.

And then Caela interjected the thought: Christ in Gethsemane.

I’ve thought about it a number of times since.  There He was, God’s own son.  Wrestling, bloody, under the heaviest cloud the world has ever known.  He was asked to carry an unthinkable burden, to meet unparalleled sacrifice.  He begged for it to go away, but what He was most worried about was His father’s will.  He laid no chips on the table.

Hebrews tells us that He endured all this “for the joy set before Him.”  He saw beyond the suffering, the scorn, the shame.  And what He saw was worth it all.  He didn’t let the cloud snuff his view.

He saw beyond the cloud.  And beyond that cloud was joy.

I don’t want to be like Tigger and bound away.  I want to see beyond Eeyore’s cloud, even if its parked over my head.

Jesus, give me your eyes to see the joy set before me.  

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